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How have you grown since you entered you …

How have you grown since you entered your service to another?

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  1. tina Michalenko says

    I am writing this not only for myself but also for all novices that have felt or still feel the same way I did.

    Being still kind of a novice, I have been struggling with a few issues of the lifestyle. I never thought I would be in such an erotic and wonderful word as the lifestyle ever. But since being in it I have had a struggle of feeling the fear of being replaced by my Master for someone whom I thought might be better than me in any way. But it seems like over the past couple of weeks I have finally gotten it.

    I have finally come to realize that my Master loves a variety of things and being just one person, I can not do everything that he likes. Just because of this I have had trouble understanding why he would need more than just his slave and it has been a very rough road for me, until now.

    My Master has always told me that I am unique, just like all submissive are unique in their own way, but until now I have never gotten it.Master and I have had some really intense conversations on this subject many times and finally I am seeing what he has been trying to explain to me.

    I have always had issues with being replaced in one way or another from my past and I have always been one man one woman. Now coming into the lifestyle I knew it more than likely would not be like this since I always research what it is I am about to do or get into. But, never did I think realistically that it might happen. But Master has made me realize so much in just the past two weeks that, I am ashamed to admit that I have ever felt the fear of replacement.

    I have always wanted to be a slave since I was a child and have dreamed always of having sister slaves to share my journey but dreaming and reality are totally different, as Master so often reminds me, and that is okay. We all have dreams and fantasies that we would love to fulfill but when it comes time to do those things the reality is harder to face. Either we find we are scared to do those things in reality or we find we can’t for some deeper reason from our past. What ever the reason it is never easy to face the fear.

    I will admit that I am very frustrating when it comes to reason and rhyme about the lifestyle, but I am finally realizing many things that I have been scared of and the reasons why I am scared of them. Thank god I have a Master who is willing to keep talking to me openly and has the patience of a saint. Don’t get me wrong, he is firm and he is commanding, he is strong but not afraid to be merciful when warranted, he is the Master and I am the slave!!

    My Master has finally made me understand that if there are others we scene with, or others he chooses to add to our little “family” that I should not fear them or fear I will be replaced. I am me! I am just as unique as any other submissive/slave out there. Each and every one of us are different yet we are all the same. I can do things that many others can’t or wont do just as there are others who will do things that I can’t or wont do. But just because I can’t do them does not lessen me in my Masters eyes.I am and will still be my Masters slave no matter how many he decides to scene with or how many he decides should join us in any way.

    Many subs/slaves are always looking for that one man to make them feel needed and wanted and special. They are looking for a relationship to make them feel that. I on the other hand want a Master but no relationship other than that. Now that doesn’t mean that I wont want that eventually, but for now I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. I love my Master without being in love with him and vice versa. I am happiest knowing that he desires to play with me and enjoys my desires and fantasies. He is always talking to me of how much fun including others would be but I have always held off because of the fear of someone being better than me.

    Well let me tell you. Yes there will always be someone out there who can do some things better than me but there is a lot I can do that others can’t as well.
    THERE is the reason why we are all unique. We all do similar things and how we do them is as unique as each of us as a person.

    To sum it up I do not have to fear being replaced because no matter what, I hold a place in my Masters heart that no one will be able to fill just as Kristen, Kelly, and others have. I will never replace anyone in my Masters heart but then again no one will be able to replace me either. So am I happy and have finally gotten it? HELL YES!!! And I will always be the lucky one.



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