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“Submissives need to be told what to d …

“Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves need to do what they are told.” – Unknown

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  1. bonnie says

    There is some truth in this statement… but what about anticipating needs of the Dom? Does that come from training or familarity of the relationship?

  2. Sevyn says

    And the difference is? I am not sure I see it.

  3. Pixie says

    Labels, labels, labels. It seems that one cannot escape the discussions about what label you claim and whether or not it is “correct”. And gods help ye if ye trip up… *sigh*

    “Submissives need to be told what to do. Slaves need to do what they are told.”

    The difference is both subtle and stark. By this particular definition, I guess I would qualify as a slave. I don’t need to be told to do the dishes, clean the bathrooms, take care of the dozen little details in the course of the week. If Beloved decides something needs special attention, I attend to it promptly (although not always without dissenting comment).

    We have actually tried the other route…my asking or him telling me what to do. It doesn’t work out so well. He tires of the mundane chores quickly, and I get frustrated when directed to do only as I’m told because it would take a month to get through a week’s worth of chores at that rate…

    This definition does not get into the mental mindset, and perhaps that is where more of my struggle lies. I am going to pull back, resent, and argue with confining directives. I am going to voice my opinions on the world. I am going to make certain decisions all on my own, and woe to those who oppose me.

    *frowns* Not very submissive- OR slave-like…

    Or does that matter?

    I wish I didn’t feel like I had to compete or explain who I am. I wander through the community and see all kinds of relationships, and I hold myself up for comparison. Am I submissive like her, slave like him? Do I serve Beloved better or worse than that individual serves their Owner? And I know it’s not something only I do…there are arguments all the time about what a label means. I’ve struggled for months with my roommates because of such things.

    Or does that matter?


    Or does that matter?

    “That which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet.”

  4. feira says

    can’t say i agree with this, but to each his own.

  5. Patches says

    I completely agree with this statement. When I was submissive to someone they told me what to do. Now that I’m slave I know what needs to be done and I do it.

  6. MistressKathE says

    This statement describes my submissive completely we live in different states so when we are together or on cam he wants to submit to my desires of the moment and like a well trained pet sits at my feet and waits for my instructions. Knowing each other less than a yr means all our time together is spent getting to know each other. I need to know my submissive in order to create an environment that we both can thrive in.

    Being told what to do creates the power exchange he needs to switch gears.

  7. karma says

    I don’t require explicit directives to know how to serve and what to do next. I do cherish those moments when I receive explicit directives, however. Explicit directions or instructions are comforting and sometimes exciting. I can trust if I’m told to do something, and I do it, that I am pleasing my SO. I guess being told what to do is kindof easy. I am expected to do exactly as I’m told, when I get direct instructions. The rest of the time I am to be a good manager of time and resources and keep everything moving in the right direction. I am to make my owner’s life easier and more pleasant. How pleasant is it to remind someone to do a load of laundry every single day?

    So, as much as I love receiving those firm orders that give me butterflies, I also love doing the things that will be pleasing before I’m told.

  8. tina says

    Master and I have lived together 24/7 for almost 4 years. I do not need him micro-managing what I do every day. I know what needs to be done…I know what to do to make him happy. I do, however, still enjoy him giving me direction, chores, to do.

  9. MasterWolf_ncs_lilbrat says

    Seems to say “submissives lack the capacity to figure out what needs to be done” and “slaves are quicker to argue than obey”

    I mean the saying a cute bumper sticker I guess, but to me the definition of a slave v. a submissive has nothing to do with a Dominant or Master giving orders…it’s about how deeply a person can or is willing to submit, and how they see themselves. If I identify as a slave, I’m a slave. Even if I am the most argumentative, untrained, raw individual in the world…

    Wouldn’t serving your Master also include doing things you *know* He would want done without Him having to ask? Why force Him to ask? Isn’t that topping from the bottom?

    i am a slave, and i do need to do as i’m told because without obedience there can be no slavery. But i’m not a mind-reader either. Sometimes i need to be told what to do. And i only do as i’m told because my Master loves me. Just because i’m a slave i would never…say…catch myself on fire just because i was told to do it. i’m a slave, not an idiot. i do as i’m told given what i’m told will not violate my most important rule: protect Master’s property at all costs.

  10. arthur says

    Much like any teacher/student relationship, as a submissive it takes time to learn, understand and then react to the style of ones Domme/dom and flavor of Their expectations AND ways of Her/his training. Within the beginnings at least i would agree muich of the energy of being told what to do is needed. BUT i also humbly agree with Miss bonnie and Miss pixie adding my personal thought to their fine observations

    imho (at least) i think most submissive’s become personally challenged to show their value by their familiarity within their service of the needs, wants and desires by catering to style of their Domme/dom.without needing to be told. With further honesty may i humbly also offer that a submissive who anticipates ones Domme/dom is quite often valued by the consistency of one knowing what to do without being told what to do. Are not most relationships built upon team and the work that’s involved within? If you take away the play and/or sex or the pleasurable pain and painful pleasures .. in my training as a working service submissive and ‘i’ humbly believe that at the root of any viable relationship; is a team of individuals who communicate AND respect each other as teachers and students working towards a common goals of the team. Someone much more intelligent than i once said; “There is no ‘i’ in team. BUT no relationship is the same and each relation ship is as individual as it is unique as one person is to the other.

    Respectfully offered,
    arthur …(humblyyours)

Continuing the Discussion

  1. Differences « Green Rootsdown linked to this post on May 25, 2009

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